Here I am, feeling so much better from a week of viral fever and bronchitis, planning on doing nothing but just catch up with the news on the internet, go for a little bit of Boxing Day shopping as I have not been out of the house for days or even for coffee. I have not been writing for a few days and I kinda missed it. Since I have a bit of time to kill before I head out to deliver some #IWillBeOkay Beauty Bag, immediately I knew what I want to update you with. Update on my battle with depression.

Exactly a year ago, I came out with (quoting from my friend’s comment) a shocking confession that I have been secretly battling with clinical depression. It is something I did not know I had until pointed out by one friend who had it. Back then it was just a few months since I had it and I had it deep. I knew something was wrong but I have no idea it was depression.
Being someone who slipped into depression in an out for countless of times for the past one year, I cannot say this will be cure as it is a never ending battle. Once you had it, you will have it on an off. All I can do now is to deal with it. To go through it. Like it or not. The thing about depression is that it comes whenever it feels like it. The tricky part about slipping back into depression is finding the way to climb back out. Sometimes it took a few days, sometimes a week or two, sometimes months.

A Year Later: Taking The Bad Turning It For Good Use

Have things been better for me now that it has been a year? Yes it definitely does. I dare not say I am all 100% better but I am surely feeling better than I was back in 2015. Honestly I do not know where I would be or what I would possibly do if I did not come out with #IWillBeOkay ‘Fight Against Depression’ Awareness Campaign. I stopped asking why but instead I take this whole depression experience into helping others. Some do questions why I wanted to trouble myself, stress myself for something that does not benefit me. This #IWillBeOkay campaign helped me back in a way. It gets me through the depression. I wish I knew what is depression and that I am not alone. You see, many more others like me who are silently battling with depression and they did not know it. I was lucky because I am a writer and I express whatever’s bothering me on Facebook, and that got picked up by people who has or is going through it. It takes another person with depression to identity who is suffering from it. I am helping me.

What I Would Advice For People Who Suffers From Depression

I was often asked what would I advice to those who is suffering from depression. Everything that does not make sense to me back then, make sense now. What I am about to list out below is not just for people who had depression but also for the friends and families members.

1. It is NOT a taboo subject. You are not alone. Many people suffers from depression silently. They just don’t come out fearing the public perception on them. That is bullsh*t. It is okay to feel not okay.
2. Get busy! I know this is a cliché thing to say but it is true. People always tells me to get busy. And I always wonder, I am already busy, how more busy can I get? GET BUSIER. The busier the better. When you are occupied with something, your mind stopped overthinking. Overthinking is one of the reason why a person could get into depression.
3. Cut off negative people. In this one year, I slash off so many people out from my life. Negative people. People who never stop blaming you for having depression, people who keep comparing their issue with yours, people who talks negatively. Just cut them off. Your life would be so much better.
4. Don’t listen to comparison. The WORSE advice someone could give you while you are in depression is comparing their issues with yours. This action does not make you feel better but instead it will make you feel belittled and you will feel that your world is once again closing on you. Stop listening. You have to remember everyone goes through life differently. What is worse for you may not be for them and vice versa.
5. Hang out with people who makes you feel comfortable. A great friend or companion is someone who is there for you. It can be a chill day talking about the moon and the sun, a coffee outing, shopping, baking and so on, without the need to talk about depression 24/7. Just being there.
6. Do the things you once loved! I said “once love” because I know how it is to lost interest in everything you love to do. Reconnect with the things you loved. For me it was my love for beauty. Writing is also another way to cope with everything that is circulating inside you. It is a great way and medium to let it all out.

What I’m Grateful For

Lots of good friends who understand and that are always by my side. Friends who do not judge on what I am going through. Friends who makes me laugh like crazy. I go to more events now because of these girls. We love being the noisy bunch whenever we get together 🙂

The highlight of 2016 was that I was able to launch not one but two #IWillBeOkay campaign this year. I never knew how far this will go. I thought the first T-shirt campaign would be that’s it. I was also not sure that campaign number 2 that is #IWillBeOkay Beauty Bag would pull through. Miraculously my dream to launch a beauty bag went through and I was able to launch it 3 weeks before Christmas and now it is all sold out. A subscriber emailed me saying she was glad someone use cosmetics to raise funds and awareness, and that I am able to do this using my media influence. Now that I think back, it is so true. Bloggers have the access and contacts to make a difference in other people’s life. I do not become a blogger to go more events, get more products or get more famous than this and that girl. For me it is about changing other people’s life, it is about inspiring others and empowering them in a way. #IWillBeOkay Beauty Bag was a success because of people and brands who believe in me, compassionate good people who are passionate to help others and they do not mind doing it through me, what I believe and also the type of awareness I am promoting. Sadly there are numerous brands who told me they do not do charity or they only support certain people. Well, I see clearly now who I should support in the future and who I should not. So all the no are a blessing in disguise actually.

What Will 2017 Be For Me?

I can see more #IWillBeOkay campaign roll-out. I have already started planning for the 3rd campaign, which will take off in March 2017. I hope to not only use the fund I collected to raise more funds but also putting these funds into good use such as events. It will not be a large scale events as I am only running this campaign alone so everything will be kept at a manageable size for me. So be sure to keep an eye on future campaign. It is getting more and more excited and interesting.

2016 has been a tough year for sure but it has been a good year for me and I ended it with a bang. I almost would know that I will not make it through 2016. Somehow, the stars shines towards my direction and stars can’t shine without darkness.

I hope you had an amazing 2016 and even more amazing 2017 to come.

xoxo, Fiona