Recently I have been told I’ve lost weight. Contrary, I felt that I’ve gain weight. The thing is, I slipped back into depression and I didn’t even know it. I mean the symptoms are there. I’m just avoiding it. I guess my friends know me better.

My heart rate has been extremely high. I suspected that my Hyperthyroidism is back. I scheduled for a blood test 2 weeks ago and the result came back confirming that Hyperthyroidism is indeed back. And bad. My hormone levels are double of the danger line. I’m put to 6 tablets of Camazol per day. Slightly better than when I first got it, which was 8 tablets of Propyl with a full tablet for heart condition. This time the doctor didn’t gave me any heart medication and I find myself suffocating with my hard heart beat.

When I went for checkup, I had a long discussion with my doctor on whether I had all the symptoms and on how I’m scared to go back to medication as it make me put on a lot of weight.

Doc: Your resting heart rate is indeed fast *asking while listening to my heart beat*
Me: Yes I know. I can feel every beat.
Doc: Did you lose weight?
Me: Nope. I think I gained weight.
Doc: Huh? You don’t feel your clothes loose lately?
Me: All my clothes are tight fitting lol.
Doc: Really didn’t lose any weight?
Me: I wish I did haha!
Doc: *speechless*

I went home and weight myself for the first time after so many month.

I’ve lost a few kgs. Shocking.

Not that shocking anyway as my depression is back. Hence the weight loss. I’ve lost all my appetite, I’m not sleeping, I’m on the bed all day everyday. I just couldn’t get out of bed. This is depression. This is what depression does to one.

Doctor said I’m too stress. I don’t know what is what now.